The Absence of Joy

The sorrow of a thousand men
I'd bear them all with ease.

But the thought of losing you.
Shatters my heart with ease.

I've been through so much but nothing can be compared to this pain that I am experiencing now.

Why do my tears shed for you?

Teddies don't hug back the way you do. But at least they do not hurt me like you did.

 But I never blamed you, because it's all my fault. I chose this path and there's no turning back.

I hope to end everything with my disappearance from our life. It's the second time but the first scar hasn't healed properly and then came the second.

I haven't been able to sleep for days. The pain is killing me. Every minute of my life is about you.

Insomnia has returned and I don't know how long will I be able to withstand it.

My heart ached from the thought of losing you.

But that will never happen, right?
I am nothing compared to you.

I don't see any point in living anymore without you in my life.
The pain is unbearable.

I often said that you helped me and now it's my turn to help you. However, now I realized I need you more than ever in my life.

I remembered every single thing you said as best as I could.
They are all carved onto my heart.

But let me stress again, it's not HER fault.

I chose this path.

I need you in my life.

I don't like you.

I love you.

I don't want you

I need you.

I won't cry for you.

I'd die for you.

Signing off