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Friday, October 16, 2009

I'm too tired to express my demise of you bothering me 24/7.

SPM examination is not the ticket to everything in life, sure it can improve your career and etc. But try placing yourself into my shoes and you can feel how bad it hurts.

I have already tried avoiding by all means, I don't mind being ignored nor isolated.
I don't want that hope placed upon me.

Studying alone can't help you in the examination. Can't you see it through my eyes?
The pain, the annoyed and irritated soul?

Cause your actions and speech had made me believe that if i studied 24 hours a day you will claim that my 24 hours is equivalent to 24 minutes -_-

Lets go through a flash back.
I placed my pen down after 1-2 hours of add maths or Bio.
Then, you burst in and said you played computer for 1-2 hours now go study something ?
What else do you wan from me?
I tell you honestly I don't want to be a doctor because I gave up on Bio, you scolded me for telling the truth?

You wanted to play cold shoulder with me but you lose first and broke the silence first.

I hope it won't come to a situation where I would run away from home.

Just leave me alone, M.
I feel like moving out after SPM examination.

Just stop bugging me over SPM examination.
I already a teenager, who've wasted 17 years of his life doing everything you told me to.
I just want to live my life my way.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Isolation In A Dark Chamber; Ease My Pain.

"Put your back into it; stop whining.Your just plain lazy!"shouted M to me.

Feeling overly exhausted, I dropped everything and was left flabbergasted.

"What, you got a lousy C6 for three papers, Add Maths, Bio and History?" shouted M at me once more.

"But I gave everything that I had into the examination and managed to score at least 8As out of 11 subjects. Doesn't that matter to you?"I defended.

Why must you look at the negative side and criticize me from that particular angle?

If you, do not trust me then why do you even bother asking me then when you decided to investigate the truth since my words are mere crap to you?

I lied because I didn't want to spoil your mood for the day. It would be hard for you to actually get mad on that day.

I admit, lying is wrong but have you have paused to consider the stress that you placed on me?

"Go study Bio!" M told me just as I reached home after an exhausting day on Sunday.

I reached home about 08.00 and the first thing wasn't a 'HI' nor 'How Was Your Day?'
but it was 'Go Study Bio'.

Kudos! If I wasn't supposed to die young then you contributed to it then.
Look at my hair. Tell me, can't you see the number of white hairs on my head?

I wanted to study in my room but somehow you don't trust me to do so.

Enough is said and heard, if I were to hate studying, I know who to blame.

Now, it's about the day.
5th October,2009.

I was tired on the 4th, so I slept at 09.00pm
When i woke up at 02.00am, I realised that I received an sms, greeting me for the day.

It was a friend whom I have not contacted in months.
Then friends who I'm not close to even did the same.

But my closes and dearest person in my life could not just wished me within the 24 hours and he is D.

I gave D 24 hours to do so but nevertheless he failed.
So did E, E failed to do so although she remembered at first but forgotten.

Thanks I guess?
I would trade anything that I have just to hear both of them say those two words to me.

Well, now there's no way they can make it matter anymore.
Next year perhaps, if I'm still alive.
Who knows.

I hate this damned Life.
Boredom, Loneliness and Pressure

Though there is these friends of mine who never let me down and followed me where ever I go at any time.They are Misery and Sorrow.
Emo much?

I don't care.
Life is dissapointing enough
Signing off.