Of Life and I

I am in love with a girl.
She is kind, sweet, good nature hot,sexy, modest, helpful and with and additional thing, she's gorgeous and is the most beautiful person in my life.

But the funny thing is, we never seemed to have noticed each other during the beginning of our semester even though she's just 10 miles a few feet away. As in we never spoke at all.

We were both emo people, who lead a life of solitude but different in a way. She may be emo but she wants to stand up in life but me, I chose to lag behind in isolation.

But things sort of changed when we studied together. At first we studied together and I the first thing that came into my mind was I must be dying for God sent an Angel to pick me up she's in my class?

We continued studying together and soon I was asking her whether she was going to study in college or not the next day and this lasted for a while. But beautiful things do not last forever, just like roses, so beautiful yet they wilt quickly.

On the final day of examination, I had a nervous breakdown. I could not focus all of a sudden. I thought perhaps a little basket ball could cheer me up, but nevertheless i was wrong.

Just when I felt totally trashed, she emerged, and we talked. I told her my story and she listened. Then, she told me hers. And I realized she did not had a good time as well. But by then, I was better and with her help and God's grace, I was able to pull it off.

Later on, I actually took courage to invite her out for a drink. I was anxious and restless until she actually agreed. I was over the moon. But Life is Cruel. Somehow, we just couldn't meet up and I was feeling down.

Nevertheless, I got over it but with a scarred heart. The next time, I missed out on a movie and was kinda sad too. It's alright I thought to myself, it's my fault anyways.

Then, college reopened and one day, I wanted to tell her how I felt but she'd found out already. She said furiously, die you insect. You're pathetic she'd knew about it and said it was impossible. I tried hard to forget it but inevitably i Failed.

And I cried in my room alone as I lead an emo life. Then, she was emo again and I was worried that it was my fault. So I tried talking to her but she just shrugged her shoulders and walked off.

I was worried to the core and felt helpless until one day, things sort of changed and we were talking again. I remembered she said "No one can help you unless you choose to help yourself". "You kept wrapping yourself up and not letting people help you".You are patheticPromise me that you will try to stand up. And lastly "Life tends to be cruel and it depends on how we choose to face it"

I was depressed and wanted to leave MCKL for good. Au Revoir MCKL.
Yesterday I was ill until now but I got better.

I was blog hopping and realized something from a fellow blogger Munn

I'd pretend that I don't care but it makes me miss you more.

So, I am not going to run away anymore nor let go.
I will realized though you may be the cause of me being sad, you also brought me sweet memories.

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

You said you wanted to stand up and needed my help. Well, let me tell you, I will hold your hand but even after you'd stand up, I will still hold your hand. Give me time and a chance, that's all I am asking.

Signing off.
Well this means, I am staying in MCKL.
I will go through it with you.
You mean the world to me.