Fragile

Life is fragile and intangible. Given the chance I would have grasp on to it and never let go. There is a 4 years gap between my sister and I where I used to wonder why did my parents leave such a huge gap between us. My mom told me when they were planning to have me, my paternal grandmother passed away and it was taboo for them to have kids that year, hence they waited for the following year.

Referring to Jia Pei's post a little of youngest child syndrome, I get that sometimes since I am the youngest in my family and there is a 4 years gap between me and my sister. Life became better when my sister left for hostel and I was the only child at home. Mom and dad showered all their love on me but there are times I envied my sister.

My paternal grandmother passed away one year before I was born. If I could turn back the pendulum of Time, I would really do anything to see her. I heard from my parents she was a kind soul and it would have been awesome if I could meet her. The only thing I have to remember her is her pictures. But life is cruel and we have to accept things as they come. My beloved paternal grandfather remarried after that, so now I have a step-grandmother and I loved her like a real grandmother.

My paternal side consists  of my father, my uncle and two aunts, all of the same surname. We used to spend time together when my paternal grandfather was alive. But when he passed away, my uncle and aunts wanted to split the meager wealth my grandfather left, a single story house and a old Volvo. My dad being the eldest was asked to suggest that to my step-grandmother but he felt that those belongings rightfully belonged to my step-grandmother and refused their request.

When I asked mom why did my uncle and aunts didn't celebrate New Year with us, she told me this story and I was angry at my relatives. My step-grandmother treated all of us well and all she have was that house and car but they still wanted to take it away from her.

It's been many years and my once huge paternal family remains broken at my father's generation but I'd hope the younger generation, my cousins and I could solve this enmity among our family.

Two days ago, my granduncle passed away and it was a huge lost to my family. Both my grandfather and granduncle were the Kuala Lumpur branch of the family where else the larger branch remains in Kedah.
His family was the one that kept in contact with mine and it was sad to lose a great man like him.

When I went there, I saw the Singapore branch of my family (same surname). They are my granduncle's children and they brought their kids along. It's so cool to have family branches all over the world which treats you as family although they are distant relatives where else my immediate paternal relatives are cold to my family.

My dear paternal granduncle was attacked by stroke due to a heart condition. Both him and my grandfather underwent surgery to have a pace maker inserted since they have heart conditions. I'd understand that my grandfather probably did not take care of his diet but I was flabbergasted because my granduncle was as fit as a fiddle but he still got a heart condition and got stroke.

I used to take life for granted even after my grandfather passed away or when my teacher passed away. But this year, everything changed when 5 deaths occurred in 3 months. When my college friend passed away, I was flabbergasted since I didn't expect something like this but 2 weeks later, another friend just went like that and I was further depressed. Days later, my best friend just went off and I was totally depressed. The last straw was when my elder god-brother passed away weeks after my best friend and I was really down, but fortunately friends stood by me and comforted me. Now, my granduncle went as well, and I feel sad but I am prepared now as I finally understood that life and death is a natural cycle and we have to accept it no matter how bad it is.

When one dies, their physical presence may be gone but their spiritual presence remains with you. I can feel them by carrying on their legacy and ensuring that they will never be forgotten by future generation. Hence, I have made up my mind to carry on with my grandfather's legacy by being an Engineer and becoming the best to bring honor to my family. 

Signing off.
Cherish your loved ones and tell them how much you love them before it's too late.